Why we dont listen better

Listening minimizes becoming a voluntary victim or martyr — a position commonly observed when an individual performs tasks for others without their explicit request or approval. An individual may be evaluated as dogmatic or stubborn.

The tendency to look for or seek out solutions when others are hurt, frustrated, or angry is viewed as trying to be helpful even though the speaker did not explicitly request your recommendations or intervention. Awareness itself is not enough, however.

Now that you know these reasons, what do you do about it? You can learn more about Dr. The absence of an interest in what others are probably thinking and feeling is a barrier to listening.

An absence of empathic understanding prevents you from listening to others. Need to be a Victim You feel sorry for yourself and think that other people are treating you unfairly because they are insensitive and selfish.

He is an author, researcher and expert in mental health online, and has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues -- as well as the intersection of technology and human behavior -- since Retrieved on September 16,from https: Help Addiction You feel the need to help people when they need someone to listen to and understand them.

Truth You take a dualistic position that you are right and the other person is wrong. Grohol sits on the editorial board of the journal Computers in Human Behavior and is a founding board member and treasurer of the Society for Participatory Medicine.

Defensiveness You are so fearful of criticism that you cannot listen when someone shares anything negative or unacceptable. Being there when a person is talking to you can be a very rewarding experience, and often can enhance an existing relationship with friends, family, or your significant other.

Being Demanding You feel entitled to better treatment from others, and you get frustrated when they do not treat you in a manner that is consistent with your entitlement.

Dualism supports a preoccupation with proving your point of view.

Without concrete evidence, a position is taken that specific or general others are controlling and domineering; therefore, you must defend yourself. The feeling good handbook.

Why Don't We Listen Better?: Communicating & Connecting in Relationships

By identifying those reasons that ring true, you can then work on improving your listening skills, focusing on being aware of those reasons next time you find yourself not listening. Mistrust The position of mistrust includes a fundamental belief that others will manipulate you if you listen to them.

Selfishness You want what you want when you want it, and you become confrontational or defiant when you do not get it. Believe it or not, listening is a skill just like writing or playing football is. Instead of listening and evaluating the perceptions of an individual, you prefer to defend yourself.

If you need further ideas for improving your communication skills with your partner, check out these 9 steps to better communication. Coercion Sensitivity You are uncomfortable with being supervised or given task-related instructions.WHY DON’T WE LISTEN BETTER?

Communicating & Connecting in Relationships PART ONE: Options in Communicating 1 1. Communication Became Important to Me 3 I learned some of this early 5. Why Don't We Listen Better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships. Petersen Publications; 1st edition Using excellent and logical methods, “Why Don t We Listen Better?” uses the expertise of Jim Petersen in counseling in enhancing the interaction and relationships of people.

A Talker. Practical Book Review: Why Don’t We Listen Better?

10 Reasons You Don’t Listen

By James C. Petersen Listening is a very complicated skill that many people do not posses. It requires individuals to reflect and to.

The flat-brain syndrome occurs when our stomachs drop or we have butterflies, usually when we are upset, depressed, nervous, worried, afraid, or excited and we lose the ability to listen and rationalize.4/4(1).

Why Don’t We Listen Better? presents other original easy-to-use tools and techniques to help people develop skills at what he calls come-alive communication. E-book Apps are great ways to 5/5(2).

Why Don t We Listen Better? is a sensible guide to transforming verbal confrontation habits into good, healthy communication. Best of all, it comes with a Talker /5(74).

Why we dont listen better
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